If you think that BDSM stands for whips, chains and handcuff, you are wrong. It’s not about cruelty and being treated like a doormat. It’s also not a slavery or forcing to do things the other person might not like. It’s obviously more than just few spanks.

 

BDSM stands for Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadism and Masochism.

Bondage is physically restraining a partner in some way. For example tying someone down using handcuffs.

Discipline is giving physical or psychological punishment to control behavior.

Dominance and Submission – Power exchange between partners to give all the control to the other partner. The submissive partner doesn’t always have to be woman, some men love it too.

S/M stand for sadism and masochism. A masochist in this context is someone who gets satisfaction from pain, such as a spanking, or humiliation. A sadist in this context is someone who gets pleasure from inflicting that pain.

 

Usually, a scenario is discussed in detail before so that both partners know what’s going to happen and have agreed to it. Generally this type of sexual pleasure needs some rules. One of them is definitely a safe word. Safe words are also used by practitioners to keep things from going in a direction that isn’t consented to or feels dangerous. Words like “no” and “stop” aren’t typically used as safe words because sometimes a submissive might say “no” when they mean “yes”.

 

So next time when you watch Fifty Shades of Grey with your partner, ask him what he thinks about BDSM and is he willing to play such erotic games.